Don't be a moron like me

I once travelled halfway around the world only to set foot in a dark forest and get stomped by a troll who literally seemed to spawn on top of me.

Thought I'd learned my lesson(s).

Now I'm seeking out swamps to conquer. I landed in a dark forest biome (safe enough for me at my gear level), but I'd neglected to eat properly. Evidently I also landed quite near to a spawner. So I was assaulted by 8 to 10 greydwarfs including brutes and shamans. Did I mention it was night time ? So I took care of them and said "screw it" and hopped back on my boat. Not quick enough, and my health was still perilously low; I had my first encounter with a wraith who evidently heard the commotion from the nearby swamp biome. Did I mention that it was night ? Dumb dumb dumb. I really felt that I might've stood a chance had I room to move but no I was on my boat, which he destroyed. I drowned.

So I needs some bronze nails to make a new boat.

Luckily, I kept my old bronze armor in a chest so I won't exactly be running back there naked like in the old days. Sheesh............. this game punishes carelessness.

8:13 pm, April 28, 2023

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MF replied to Don't be a moron like me April 30, 2023 @ 6:10:07 pm PDT

New stupid way to die.

I found a tiny little meadows biome wedged between swamp, plains and black forest. Looked peaceful enough. The entire thing was this old ruined village............ full of bloody draugr spawners !!!!!!!! (Had I forgotten to eat properly ? Yes.) I came back (new boat) and destroyed two with stag hammer. A dethsquito from 5 miles away heard the noise and came to investigate. Got tired of chasing me and opted to go after the THIRD draugr spawner which I'd missed. While they duked it out I stood outside pounding the ground with my hammer. I got a 'needle'. Not sure what it's for, but it looks nasty.

Good times.

So much for the meadows being 'safe'. Three draugr spawners inside ruined buildings in a 20 yard radius.

2:13 am, May 1, 2023

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JPValheim replied to Don't be a moron like me April 30, 2023 @ 6:21:19 pm PDT

Man you sound like youd be great fun to play with! What would Valheim be without epic death stories?

There is nothing like the thrill of dying when you have a boat full of metal... is it gonna sink?!?!?

2:13 am, May 1, 2023

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Originally posted by sarteck:
Originally posted by Tangoblue:
I swear, if there's a stupid way to die in this game I've done it.
Have you accidentally built yourself into a chimney you were making to get rid of the smoke trapped in your roof and choked yourself to a sooty death?

...Just asking, not like I've ever done anything like that... I ALWAYS pay attention to the numbers on my screen and NEVER forget to eat food. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Not yet.

But smoke inhalation ? Check
By falling trees - Check
Falling off a roof - Check
falling into a trench - Check
Falling off a cliff while running in a snowstorm - Check
Sea Serpent/drowning - Check
Trying to tank a lox with a bronze sword and buckler - Check
Jumping over a hill during heavy fog into a very active tarpit - Oh Check!
Death by skeleton - Check
Death by Neck - Check
Mistlands - check, check, check, check and CHECK!

"Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die"

2:13 pm, April 29, 2023

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Emelio Lizardo replied to Don't be a moron like me April 29, 2023 @ 1:29:55 am PDT

Not as stupid as when dying from your own smoke.

11:13 am, April 29, 2023

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Originally posted by MF:
I really felt that I might've stood a chance had I room to move but no I was on my boat, which he destroyed. I drowned.

I don't know if you could have made it with a wraith already that close to the boat, by the time it gets full speed. My first encounter with a wraith was precisely on a boat, but I was paddling backward toward the shore and this strange tower, and the wind was blowing from the land. When I realize that the blueish light was homing toward me, I just had to lower the sails. The wraith could reach and damage my karv, but I could escape full sail. It followed be for quite a time, though.

11:13 am, April 29, 2023

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MF replied to Don't be a moron like me April 28, 2023 @ 10:56:15 pm PDT

While it might have seemed like a waste of time as there were zero crypts in that damn swamp, I did trip over some turnip seeds on my return visit.

I'd happily die 10 times over for turnips.

8:13 am, April 29, 2023

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Originally posted by MF:
I'd happily die 10 times over for turnips.

Sounds like the perfect epitaph.

8:13 am, April 29, 2023

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=(eG)=™Cthulhu replied to Don't be a moron like me April 28, 2023 @ 7:34:39 pm PDT

I have began putting bee's nests on top of my walls and roofs just to remind me to eat something.

5:13 am, April 29, 2023

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Originally posted by sarteck:
Originally posted by Tangoblue:
I swear, if there's a stupid way to die in this game I've done it.
Have you accidentally built yourself into a chimney you were making to get rid of the smoke trapped in your roof and choked yourself to a sooty death?

...Just asking, not like I've ever done anything like that... I ALWAYS pay attention to the numbers on my screen and NEVER forget to eat food. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

I built an incredibly fancy 4 storey chimney out of stone. Climbed to the top to put on the finishing touches and, you guessed it.... died of smoke inhalation before I knew what had hit me. When running around my own base doing repairs and whatnot, sometimes I forget to eat. And sometimes I fall off the roof. Do the math..................

2:13 am, April 29, 2023

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Originally posted by Faceplant8:
I had a similar encounter (minus the wraith) with greydwarf, but I was in at least mountain-level gear, maybe higher, and got stamina locked with them pounding on me. I started thinking "No! Not to greydwarf!". Fortunately I was able to hobble away enough to grab a bite and show them who's boss!

Haha literally almost had that happen to me last night. I was out at night gathering wood and stone in the nearby meadows next to the black forest by my base and forgot to eat. Suddenly I find myself surrounded by greylings, greydwarves, brutes and shaman with 15 hp and just a bronze spear. I barely scraped through by parrying but I remember thinking "I was just in the mountains for crying out loud and I'm about to die to a greyling!"

I also went deeper into the plains than I've ever ventured to gather cloud berries. The deathsquitos weren't a problem but I blocked a fuling attack and got staggered so I immediately ran back to safety with 5% health or less - and I had eaten swamp food. That was also a very close call.

2:13 am, April 29, 2023

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Tangoblue replied to Don't be a moron like me April 28, 2023 @ 2:09:59 pm PDT

PSA:

Don't sail into the Mistlands against the wind (or at any time). That was my latest moron moment. A Gjall saw me and I just couldn't get away...I didn't even have a mistlight on me. I have no idea what was going through my head at the time.

PS - turns out there was an infected Mine nearby too! I swear, if there's a stupid way to die in this game I've done it.

11:13 pm, April 28, 2023

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Originally posted by Tangoblue:
I swear, if there's a stupid way to die in this game I've done it.

Have you accidentally built yourself into a chimney you were making to get rid of the smoke trapped in your roof and choked yourself to a sooty death?

...Just asking, not like I've ever done anything like that... I ALWAYS pay attention to the numbers on my screen and NEVER forget to eat food. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

11:13 pm, April 28, 2023

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sarteck replied to Don't be a moron like me April 28, 2023 @ 12:14:11 pm PDT

At least nobody got hurt.

8:13 pm, April 28, 2023

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Faceplant8 replied to Don't be a moron like me April 28, 2023 @ 12:38:37 pm PDT

I had a similar encounter (minus the wraith) with greydwarf, but I was in at least mountain-level gear, maybe higher, and got stamina locked with them pounding on me. I started thinking "No! Not to greydwarf!". Fortunately I was able to hobble away enough to grab a bite and show them who's boss!

Another time I sailed up to my base at night, just wanting to jump in bed, but forgot that a swamp raid had started just as I left a few days before. The raid had ended, but the draugr were still there. It didn't turn out well.

8:13 pm, April 28, 2023

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Originally posted by Faceplant8:
I had a similar encounter (minus the wraith) with greydwarf, but I was in at least mountain-level gear, maybe higher, and got stamina locked with them pounding on me. I started thinking "No! Not to greydwarf!". Fortunately I was able to hobble away enough to grab a bite and show them who's boss!

Another time I sailed up to my base at night, just wanting to jump in bed, but forgot that a swamp raid had started just as I left a few days before. The raid had ended, but the draugr were still there. It didn't turn out well.

I used to have a secret way into my base. Had a nice little portal tucked away under some big rocks with a double pointy fence around the whole thing. Trolls eventually got wise and smashed the **** out of it all. When I'm in my base they can't get to me and that gets them feeling quite salty, so they look around for other things to smash.

8:13 pm, April 28, 2023

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