I'm not a graphics snob, either, which is why I don't really mind the models, heh.

As for the lighting, I really do agree that the lighting for dark areas is horrendously dark. You can use a Torch (and later, a special helmet that gives you a headlamp), but that's not very useful. I can't help but agree here, and it's why I use a game mod to adjust the gamma.

As for tutorial, I never found Hugin terribly useful, either. I started playing with friends who were able to guide me, but yeah, I'll have to agree that if you're going it solo and don't want to get spoiled, you're going to find most of his hints terribly un-useful.

Are you missing something? Well, yeah, a lot actually. I would really recommend that you search "valheim gameplay basics" on YouTube and you will find a plethora of "newbie guides" that will really help you out a lot. I will say that, yes, suffering and punishment WILL indeed teach you a lot in this game--making sure that you always have food going even when doing simple tasks like chopping trees, for example, lest one falls on your head and sends you back to the spawn point or your bed. Those guides I mentioned will help you a lot in that arena.

I can't really change your mind, only you can. I've found it to be a fun game, but I only play with friends for the most part. (Well, I still play some solo, but mostly home-base tasks waiting for friends to get on.) Maybe that's what you should do; check out the Looking for Group forum, and either join in with someone looking for people to play on their server, or make a thread saying that you're new and would like to join a newbie-friendly server. Or hell, just convince your own friends to come experience Valheim with you.

I hope you enjoy! Skal!