Did they get rid of claiming a post as the answer to a discussion?
The structures that trigger events, are good to know about and the best advice. When joining a server later, players should bunk with another player until their building is complete.

I deleted my bed and let the fires go out. I used a bed i threw in someones house and stayed nights there. This and probably some luck got raids to stop. My building is complete so now I'm not worried. This still seems rough. Unless you know how the nuanced mechanics work, building late is a serious pain. Knowing these mechanics is a bit immersion breaking. Glad to know how to play through it now.