I can't relate to your story at all. I don't have any of the problems you mention. You sure you don't use mods or keep the Shift key pressed while building? Imo, this is the most satisfying building system up to date. I honestly can't name a game which has building nearly as satisfying as Valheim. If I were you I would check if there isn't something going wrong on your end, as your description doesn't fit my experience at all...