I'll be the nice guy and tell OP.. I feel you mate. Sometimes it really feel that. It get's better after Moder..

HOWEVER

I honestly don't think it's the case.
Good luck, may the wind at least always smell of pine.

Small factoid: If you sail around the rim, the wind *is* programmed to always blow off the disk, guiding you to doom - or if you know how to sail- a speedy rim run.