mate, you have to be kinder to people, the developers are not trash they are exceptionally brilliant.
playing by yourself is the only way to have the pause, but then I assume you knew this.
However when you went to the settings by hitting the escape key, you will have noticed that the sounds continue but all motion stops and the screen slowly turns from side to side.
You are in pause and these things give you the clue.
No need for instruction.
however you may be playing using other than a keyboard , if that is the case i suspect what ever you press which is the equivilent of esc then that would be it.
But I understand you wanted to pause and were in a hurry , go the loo, make a coffee sip it etc then got frustrated.
now you know cheers